“Wanna Watch Me Beat Super Mario 3D World?”

He got all the green stars.  He got all the gold flags and all the stamps in all the other levels.  Now all that was left was to complete the ultimate platformer level in the secret, final “Crown World” in Super Mario 3D World.  My boyfriend had been at it for weeks; you had to essentially commit the level to muscle memory and time everything just so, or you fall to your doom and die.  You have to have full understanding of how long and how far and how fast your character (Mario, in his case) jumps and runs…because that changes everything.

My boyfriend played the final level A LOT.  He even grabbed hundreds of lives to have near-infinite tries:

…And has a specific way to hold the GamePad when his timing starts getting too rushed:

The last time I saw him try to clear this level, he could only get up to the 2nd area and would curse incessantly at the TV with every death.  And then, just the other night, this transpired…

BOYFRIEND: “After playing this Mario level like 475 times, I don’t get pissed anymore.  I just take the failure and brush it off.”

ME: “Really?  No more cursing?”

BOYFRIEND: “Nah, I’m over it.”

He played the level, screwed up, and died.

BOYFRIEND: “FUUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!”

I stared at him.

BOYFRIEND: “….I think my testosterone goes up when I’m around you….”

Testosterone or Pride?  Hahaha.  This isn’t the first time something like this has happened!  I guess it’s cute, he was trying to show off his skills.  About 50 lives later…he really did beat the level, for the first time ever!  We’ve been playing it together since then, going through all the levels and clearing them with every character.  It’s pretty fun, but I’m new to the whole 3D-genre of Mario…soooo I’m not accustomed to having this squat-jump thing yet.  He tells me it’s from the N64 Mario game, which is a console I completely skipped over while growing up :(  Why couldn’t we be friends in middle school!

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