Grand Theft Auto V is the Best Open World Game Ever

It’s a little strange to admit, since the Fantasy genre was such a huge part of my childhood.  After growing up with series like Dragon Lance, Forgotten Realms, and reading the manuals and monster compendiums of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, you’d think I would have sacrificed my life to a game like Skyrim by now.  I tried to like games in The Elder Scrolls series, but nothing could drag me in.  The worlds were vast, yes, but there was so much nothing between towns, with barely any monsters to fight on the road to keep things interesting.  Also, the severe racism of the denizens of Morrowind tired me out.  These kinds of games are supposed to be escapist paradises, but when you already deal with bigotry in real life you don’t really wanna come home to it too.  I thought I’d love playing a bipedal talking tiger lady.  I thought I’d love wearing armor and cutting through the medieval countryside.  I thought it’d be fun to play with magic and grow my skills – the leveling system was something of particular interest to me.  In theory, I completely loved it.  But in reality, it meant I never ran, only jumped (to up my acrobatics) or stalked (to enhance my sneaking ability).  This, no doubt, made traversing the world even less enjoyable, via self-sabotage.

I thought a medieval fantasy open world of elves, dwarves, cats, and magic would be my thing.  I know someone who is still playing Skyrim every night, even though it’s been 2 years.  But it wasn’t, and neither was the empty vastness of Fallout 3 (however I enjoyed that a whole bunch).

My true love in open world games is GRAND THEFT AUTO.

Me and that series, we have a history together.  It was the game of choice at sleepovers, right alongside Resident Evil 2 and the first Diablo.  I can’t tell you how many hours I spent in GTA III, stealing cars for money, watching that crane swing them away at the junkyard, going on killing sprees with a flamethrower.  I find it funny that despite my movies and reading tastes heavily leaning towards the Fantasy genre, my favorite open world setting is the present day urban life.  I don’t always kill people, in fact I really suck at it.  I didn’t have this problem in GTA IV, but here in the fifth iteration, the crosshair is just a tiny white dot on the screen.  Once you’re driving in the daylight and that thing is pointed at the sky, it blends in completely and I can’t see where I’m aiming….it becomes impossible for me.  I know others don’t have this problem….my boyfriend shoots and drives just fine.  I can’t so I just ram people with my car.  Yes, kids, the answer to having bad aim is to smash more things :)

I’m really enjoying all the customizations I can do, the dressing up, the weirdo characters you meet, even the random glitches and how you yourself falls down like a ragdoll at such inopportune times.  The problem with The Elder Scrolls games is they take themselves too seriously – Grand Theft Auto‘s writing is so satirical, so witty and funny, it’s pure relief at the end of a long work day.  I love how it doesn’t take itself seriously in anything that happens. Everything is pure fun.

I can’t stop playing.  I go to work and all I think about is this game.  I see cars on the street and wonder which one do I wanna boost for today’s commute.  I think about Chop, but not in a good way.  He sure is cute in the game, I’ve always wanted a rottweiler.  But the iFruit app is a piece of crap!  It keeps telling me my wireless/data connection has been lost, when I have a strong signal for everything.  Anything I do, like logging in or buying stuff, has to be done at least 3 times because it just won’t send the order.  Chop looks and moves retardedly and all he does is send notifications to my phone saying he’s unhappy.  At least real dogs are cute and you get to play with them.  This dog’s mini games are shoddy and simply not fun.

Okay.

Time to unpause the game and get back to the game!!

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