Overwhelmed.

Schedule for today:

9:00am – Leave for work.
9:20am – Catch a train to Queens.  Read “All You Need is KILL” and escape from reality for just a bit.
10:00am – Arrive at work; drink coffee, eat a banana. Read the news.
10:30am – Begin work.
1:00pm – Interrupt work to order lunch. Bathroom break.
1:10pm – Back to work.
2:00pm – Lunch arrives. Ignore it. Keep working.
2:40pm – Phone call from mom with bad news about my medical bills. Get scolded by mom for not getting enough stuff done. Feel judging eyes and ears of coworkers as I talk on the phone instead of working. Hang up.
2:50pm – Back to work.
3:30pm – Restart work because something got messed up.  Fight with boyfriend.
5:50pm – Bathroom break. Eat lunch.
6:00pm – Back to work.
7:15pm – Boss leaves, tells me to leave too.
8:05pm – Save work, hug boyfriend. Try not to cry. Feel overwhelmed. Feel reluctant to return home because there’s so much to do.
8:10pm – Pass by high quality pancetta and salami, laid out for grabs. Get offered a piece, then refuse it because of a feeling of nausea. Who can eat when there’s so much to be done?
8:20pm – Catch a train ride home.  Read “All You Need is KILL” and escape from reality for just a bit.
9:00pm – Arrive home.
9:01pm – Bathroom break.
9:02pm – Wallow in self pity.
9:15pm – Finally reply to some emails that have been waiting in my inbox for 5 days.
9:30pm – Eat a dinner of cheddar cheese out of the refrigerator.
9:40pm – Wallow in self pity.
10:00pm – Attempt to write letter of appeal to insurance so I don’t have to pay $4000 out of pocket.  Stare at blank paper on computer screen.  Wallow in self pity.
11:00pm – Cry. Stare at ceiling.  Cry.  Deliver thoughts of hate to everything.  Wonder why popcorn ceiling is so unpopular on HGTV.  Wonder why I can’t get things done.  Wonder why I can’t be smarter, faster, more clever, more adept, more better at everything.  Wonder why doctors keep billing me for the wrong things.  Wonder how I’ll have time to call them when I have so much work to do during office hours.  Wonder if I can pay for it all if my appeal is rejected.
11:52pm – Write up this blog post of my shitty day.

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One thought on “Overwhelmed.

  1. You are in a big need of change of scenery for a weekend and then your vacation soon in November…! Because that sounds like something just about to explode from the stress that you are dealing with. Should plan a very inexpensive trip to like a beach or forest just for its silence and tranquility.

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