Accepting Grey Matter Donations

Lately my brain has been degrading from lack of sleep. I can hardly form coherent sentences to explain things anymore. When I try to explain something to a person, the words simply vanish from my mind just as soon as I think them up, right before I can speak it. I read somewhere that when you don’t get enough sleep, the language center of your brain drastically lowers in activity (I say drastically because the brain scan picture colors went from bright orange, active, to nearly blue)…you start to lose your language comprehension. Ah. There also seems to be some kind of opaque, white vignette around my vision, like I’m looking through bended glass. I’m hoping this is also from lack of sleep, because I really don’t want to spend money on glasses.

Money is another issue. Prepare for angst.

Whoever said “Money can’t buy happiness” is a deluded idiot. Of course it can. Why? If I had money….I could buy:

1. A BETTER BED. One that’s not sagging in the middle, where I can feel the springs. It makes my back hurt and I feel crappy in the mornings!! I asked my mom for a new bed and she said no! So I either sleep on my sister’s bed (it has that memory foam stuff <3) when she overnights at school, or I sleep on the couch. My bed is also about 2 inches shorter than everyone else's…turns out the legs are broken. Not that it affects sleep quality. Just a nitpick.

If I had a better bed, I could get better sleep, heightening my productivity and generally lowering my irritability.

2. BETTER FOOD. Why is healthy food so overpriced? Why is healthy food so crappy tasting? That I will not address today. But seriously, why is real food so expensive to buy….I don’t manage my time well enough to both complete my homework AND make/bring food to school for eating. Easy solution, just buy some food around school. Now for some WEIRD reason all we have around school expensive crap and fast food. Expensive crap is like $9+ for a meal and it takes a while to cook (diners and such). There’s healthy stores and trendy places around the block, I guess, but seriously what we mostly have is burger places, pizza, and … well yea, that’s it. Unless you count Jamba Juice ($3-$6 just for a drink…so one must choose, will I eat today or will I drink something healthy?). Most of the burger places, like Burger Heaven, are friggin $10 for a burger. I hear it is not even that special enough to warrant that amount. So I go to McDonalds. The worst of all fast food places. It’s there, or pizza, you know, for alternating flavors. I can’t tell you how many times the dollar menu at fast food places has saved me from starvation! But it’s so unhealthy. Freshmen year, it felt like ALL we were eating was McDo, like 3x a week at least (ick). I’d be happier if it was at least Burger King (or even Wendy’s), cuz then at least the burger patties don’t taste like it was lunch meat that was squished flat and then microwaved. The school cafeteria is no better….maybe even worse health-wise. I can get a pretty big, 1.5″ burger with bacon for $2.50…and a burger with everything a burger gets, plus bacon, plus a fried egg, for $3.50. It’s like eating a heart attack.

I have a credit card to my mom’s account, and they told me I could use it as long as I don’t splurge. The only thing I charge is McDo. I got yelled at for it and my mom tried to take my card D: . I think she is absurd.

So yea, I got distracted. If I had more money I could eat at diners and real restaurants, to eat real meat instead of processed crap that’s no longer in its original shape from fast food places. You know, if I had money, I would probably live like 10 yrs longer than I will. I could buy Jamba Juice or Naked Juice or just juice in general instead of friggin Coke and Sprite all the time, because ALRIGHT ALREADY I don’t have $3 to pay for a drink, I only have $1.25 if I really dig in all my pockets. Man. Isn’t it wrong for my drink to be more expensive than my pizza?! Maybe I’ll start eating more hot dogs. Vary it up. And get a parasite.

3. BETTER EDUCATION. Better education leads to me getting smarter and more oppertunities, leads to better job, leads to better pay, leads to better house/ a vacation / happiness. You know, right now I am seriously feeling like money is keeping me down from learning what I want. Money and time. Tomorrow I have to go to the east side and register for next year’s classes, and I have to declare my major within the Computer Art Dept.….whether I will focus on 3D stuff (things like Monsters Inc.) or 2D stuff (combining 3D stuff with real people/surroundings, commercials, post production of movies, etc). It’s like tomorrow will change my destiny or something. Anyway, I wanted to take both, which is totally possible….IF….and ONLY IF….you don’t have any more Humanities to fulfill for graduation. Apparently we can’t skip taking them and leave them for the summer, we really have to have those credits under our belt first. So basically only transfer students can do both.

Since I have to take one Humanity in fall and one in spring semester, that means I can’t take 2 semesters of a REAL class. You know, one that I’d actually LEARN SOMETHING from, that would benefit my major. There are sooo many classes I want to take at SVA, but I don’t have the time or money. If I had the cash, I’d either pay for more credits during the school year, or take those classes during the summer. But of course, private schools are really just multi-building Businesses….so…last I heard…

One credit is $870.

Meaning, one class is $2610, plus lab fee for the summer, it turns out to $3110.

I want to learn Lighting, photoshop, matte painting, modelling/rigging, flash, compositing….everything…but I can’t. It’d be nice to keep going to school…but I need a good job first with great pay. I hate how I have to waste time on humanities that aren’t interesting or good. My school has humanities just to say they have humanities. Most people seem content having such easy classes, but what about for those of us who ACTUALLY WANT TO LEARN?? Why are we being disadvantaged? We don’t even have language classes aside from English as a Second Language.

Yea….I think my main gripe is I can’t take all the classes I want to.

Imagine though. If I had money I could go visit countries I always wanted to visit, go to white sand beaches instead of glass filled beaches, join a health club and get some excercise so I can stop shrinking (I’m totally serious), stop taking the subway at night and just take a cab home (for some reason people keep getting stabbed at the stations by my school)….

Even community colleges are high priced. What the hell??? I’m trying to find a community college to go to so I can get rid of some of my Humanities. I’m looking at SUNYs and CUNYs and they’re supposed to be cheap, right?!??! $250/credit is not cheap at all!!! Okay we have ghettoes and projects here. How do they expect low income people like them to afford education when they charge $250/credit!! That’s $750/class. In contrast, I think Jersey people can go to comm. college for like $100/credit. Thank GOD BMCC charges $120/credit….I think I’m just gonna go there. THAT’S more like what a CUNY should charge. Hunter and Baruch should be ashamed of themselves. I think they charge that much cause of their whole thing, Baruch especially, where they’re trying to LEAVE CUNY status so they can rake in more tuition money.

There’s that word again…money…

I think today will be the first time I don’t hand in all my homework for a class. I just can’t concentrate on programming/scripting right now.

You know, I kind of resent those people at school who don’t need Work-Study or anything. My school is FRIGGIN expensive, and I really gotta keep working if I want to pay off the loans when I get out, if I can. My dad told me today (and he’s been telling me for over a year) that he’s not paying for my education and me and my sister have to do something about it instead. And then he went and bought a house in Texas. You know, I’m no longer a minor but he often did not pay child support, and I think that’s like a crime or something. I was kind of shocked when I found out one of my classmates in middle school got $1200 a month for child support. Cuz….I got $250…I looked it up later and turns out $250 is the legal minimum. It really annoys me how he keeps saying he has no money, but him and his family keep travelling around the world and buying things for themselves instead of saving money. Shouldn’t a normal dad want his kids to be happy? I shouldn’t know this, but if anything happens to him, me and my sister don’t get anything, it all goes to his sister (and note it is singular though he has two). He’s always not paying the insurance either, which is pretty bad, because me and my sister are under his name…if they cut him off, we get cut off too. My mom wants me to go to Taiwan in the summer so I applied to this summer camp type thing there…my dad yelled at me to not go and said he won’t pay for it. Whatever, it’s only $500+airfare, and learning ANY language opens up lots of oppertunities for people. He makes more than my mom does (even if its only by a couple thousand), but he doesn’t want to help us out….it really bothers me…but he’s still my dad. He does buy us stuff sometimes, and I wouldn’t have gotten through the school year without the Quad G5 he got us, and he gives me cash sometimes. I could say that’s still cheaper than helping us out with things like my school bill, but it’s better than nothing and I’ll stop questioning it…for now.

You know, since those people at school don’t have work, they have like 3 days of nothing to do. So to the arrogant ones, of course their homework looks great, they have 72hrs more to do it than I do. And probably better concentration, since I can’t sleep at work anymore to recover brain powerrr =\. And they’re living in dorms that cost $10,000….then spend like over $200 a week on stupid drugs and get high and come to class stoned, what the hell, wasting their time and parent’s money. If I was their parent I’d force them to get a job =\ I dislike rich kids and wouldn’t want mine, even if we’re rich, to be a spoiled brat…lions kick their cubs down a cliff and watch them claw their way back up…right? Or was it tigers. Same difference, less hair. It also bothered me how, while working at school over the summer, all these high school kids were taking a Game Design class for close to $3000 after all the other fees you have at school, and for what…. I’d walk by and most of the time they are just playing Unreal Tournament online. To pay $3000 to play Unreal, and then feel OKAY about that..? And all these friggin condos being built all over the city. They tear down a place that can house like 80 families and replace it with one that will house MAYBE 8. A few weeks ago there was an apt. complex in Brooklyn that made the news; they wanted to sell that place, which was for low income families, to a company who would raise the rent to ~$200,000 a year. I think they also wanted to convert it to a luxury apt. complex, just like many others around the city. But the government stepped in and said no…you can’t do that…these people need a place to live :)

One of the managers (my boss) was complaining about people who own cars in the city. Apparently, they own a car but don’t want to drive you home because they have a parking spot good for another 2 days. “You pay all this money for gas and insurance, and you won’t even drive your car because you don’t want to lose your parking space? THEN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A CAR FOR?!?!” :) He’s my favorite manager, but he’s also late all the time D:

Just one more month to vacation.
Just one more month to vacation.
Just one more month to vacation.

A soda bottle exploded in my bag. It sounded like a gunshot. I really hoped it wasn’t me that made that horrible sound on the street, but when I opened my bag to eat breakfast at work….lo and behold….the bottle was empty and my food was wet.

I am too tired to explain, but a 3D teacher I want to take is at 11am on Saturdays, and I have Japanese class from 10-12 on Saturdays. I guess I should give up Japanese…but I won’t….many times during the school year it was Japanese class that I looked forward to all week.

EDIT: This post was a bad idea. I think I’m now in a more worse, KILL ALL HUMANS kind of mood. The remedy? I will continue to slack off and go play Resistance: Fall of Man, and kill me some mutants.


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